Dear Modern Diary

 Here we go again, Without knowing what happened, I'm stuck at this situation again, very awkward situation. What did I do that I deserve this kind of treatment? I sometimes still wonder whether did my action lead to someone feeling horrible that much? Or maybe it was just me feeling weird. But I know it's not that. There must be something that I do that cause that person to become hostile towards me.  But I have to remember that not everyone the same

 After so long, I am finally writing something. Nothing much. Just want to update to myself on what is happening to me. I find myself still in dilemma after a recent encounter that happens to me. I can accept the fact of our agreement however I am bump out to see that the person is doing small things that we used to do with the other person that I personally don't like. It's normal for me to feel this way however it is not normal for me to argue about this as we have reached into an agreement. But I am still your humble, human being that is fragile and comes with soft and sensitive side. I feel somewhat betray but I kept telling to myself to remind myself on our agreement. Sad that this will happened more but I have to find a way to deal with this. Sad but true. I am thus heart broken by this.

Watching Descendants of the Sun used to be my routine for every Wednesday and Thursday. But now since the episode including the specials has come to an end it give me ample of time to stray into thinking about something.  Is it that hard to always have less contact, being ditched during movie and showed up only when he is free without you knowing what is he working as? I always thought it's not that difficult as it will give us more time for our self. We can spend our time with friends and family. That's what I thought. It's a mistake. You do feel hurt. Without you realizing it.  I tried...but still...it hurts. No wonder KMY feel hurt when YSJ have to leave in such a hurry.  Now...how to comfort this feeling? I don't know. I'm still finding my way. I'm lost at the moment. Very lost. But I have to focus on something big that is coming soon. But I can't help my shaking hands and fast heartbeat that keeps giving ...

The kid who said to have become strong enough to hold back her emotion for her past have fallen down again. Is it part of the turbulence that should've being felt by someone who are still holding back their feelings? Could be, maybe. I need some distraction now! Distract me with other things, busy my schedule so that I don't even have time to think about my personal life, friend me like nobody business although I am rejecting you all. As I feel the most horrible now. The only one that distract me from thinking about him... So Ji Sub <3

After the big failure in my love life I tried not to overthink about it. So I started to get myself busy. With the help of my work (since now I have new position) and with my study (something for me to worry big time), I kind of slowly adjusted my life without him. Thanks to the people surrounding me who are kind enough to lend their happy thoughts and support to me although I don't even think they know what happened. I am still thankful for all the positive and negative people around me.  Like they said "failure makes you a better person". I don't even know from where I heard that but I just feel like saying it. Someone kind and sweet enough to buy me something all the way from Jepang! thank you for the ole2 Feby!

How bad does a break up can really break your heart apart? Sometimes I wonder that as I see some couple brawl their eyes out on their breaking up with the loved ones. Ahaa... Now I know how hard it is when it happens.  Reason : 1 - You love that person so much that you don't even left at least 35% for yourself. 2 - You left out the other best part of this world and dedicate your life to him/her. 3 - You have imagine a bright and happy future with your partner. 4 - You had spent so much beautiful memories with them. 5 - The person you enjoy your moments with will no longer be there with us. These are probably few reasons why they break down in tears and some even had emotional problems. I am to be honest, at this moment facing this. How bad can it be when your loved ones told you they've been thinking about few things and issues and told you they have other person in their mind on your birthday?  I, to be honest, break down at this. I am completel...